Categories: uncategorized
Date: 01 February 2006 14:18:54
The open evening at the adoption agency was really good. Relaxed, small, and we got a good feeling from the staff of the agency. Also got to meet other prospective adopters which was good for all of us, as we're in the same boat at the moment, with lots of questions and fears and excitement. Picked up a sample copy of a form F (we get a big ole form F filled out on us and the child gets a for E filled out on her/him, then if we're approved they try to match them together.) and our first copy of Be My Parent, which was really weird to look through. Not surprisingly, after looking at all of those pictures and profiles we wanted to adopt them all, and prticularly one little 10 year old girl who likes "art, singing, dancing and swimming and also karate and playing games." I had never thought about adopting a 10 year old before. wow.
We keep looking at the form F and wondering (not seriously) "couldn't we just fill it out and turn it in and get it over with?" It's a bigger thing than that and takes about 8 months to complete with much help from our social worker. There's one page which asks you to consider a list of different situations that various children could have and you need to mark a tick (yes I would be interested in that child), an x (no I would not be interested in that child) or an L (meaning 'limitations'). We had already talked about most of those situations, and had "decided" very practically and honestly about what we could handle and what was good for the child and good for us as a family, but when we actually came to read down the list, once again we were struck with a difficulty in saying no to any child.
That was unexpected.
I'm not worried that we'll be unrealistic when it actually comes down to it. A child who has a facial disfigurement will have very different needs to a child with mobility difficulties. A child who may have been physically or sexually abused will demand different things from us than a child who has a high risk of developing a life threatening condition. It wouldn't be fair on the child or on us to not be completely realistic about what we could handle physically, practically and emotionally. My own illness is progressive and although there is no guarantee that I may someday progress to a physically dependent stage myself, how could I care for a physically dependent child? However, the very fact that I experience those problems and fears and worries and challenges and descriminations in my own life, would help me empathise and support a child emotionally.
Oh what if what if what if?? Fiddlesticks and Flapdoodle. Sometimes I need to think about stuff other than adoption too.
However we got the documents through for our medicals today, so need to book those (private fees, ouch) and chase up getting hold of a copy of mr dots' birth cirtificate. So even when I decide that "I'm not going to obsess about adoption today," the practical stuff still needs doing.
Oh yes, and must remember to tape part two of Baby Be Mine on BBC1 tonight. (did I say that I wasn't going to think too much about adoption? HA)