Categories: uncategorized
Date: 04 May 2006 20:15:10
still waiting. i feel like i'm so in limbo. i guess i had originally assumed that this whole prosess would be one of mainly waiting, but then i met so many people who told their stories as being a much better one than that. but as it has been said, i am a "spcial case". i suppose special cases need to be considered very carefully. (i'm trying very hard not to be bitter, because i know this won't do me any favours with the adoption panel.)
but today, i'm thinking less about myself, and more about Patricia Rashbrook the 62 year old woman who is 7 months pregnant after IVF treatment. i've actually found the debate today somewhat upsetting. the accusations that i have read and heard against her include "she's selfish", "she already has children, why should she have another?", "it's unnatural", "childbearing should stop with the menopause", "disgraceful", "she should have been forbidden"... who are allare all of these people to judge how people make families? I think that so often people judge in terms of their own experience and don't leave any space for a different person's individual life. is it worse bringing a baby into the world at 62 and being able to care for it, or having a baby at 25 and not being able to care for it properly? i know which one i'd choose.
i tried to submit my opinion (in much reduced form as there was a word limit) to the bbc's 'have your say' page for the question "should women become mums in their sixties?"
from what i've seen, they haven't published my comment:
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I hear very few objections such as this when a man fathers a child at the age of 60+. Nature doesn't stop men from fathering children. We must remember that the father's obligations to his child are as important as the mother's.
My father was 60 when I was born. I admit that there were difficulties (such as finances in his retirement, social difficulties relating to a child of a different generation and losing him when I was 21) but I am glad there were no restrictions on him having me. Why is it considered to be so much worse for a woman to make that decision if she is prepared to take full responsibility for and love a child at that age?
No matter what age a parent is, there will be difficulties in life. Let's not single out parental age as a reason not to create and love a new life. Many young people have children and don't care for them. Younger age is not a guarantee of good parenting.
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