Categories: general
Date: 25 June 2009 20:08:08
This man was my boss. My team leader, the person I talked to about work stuff, the person who always made me smile, the proud father of 2 small boys and a dedicated husband. He should have come to work yesterday, but didn't turn up. They assumed he was late, until a phonecall told the bad news - that he was critically ill. A man who had spent his life caring for critically ill people was now being cared for. The doctors covered for the nurses as they were all taken off to be told the news. They prayed together, but soon afterwards the news came through that they'd had to turn off all the machines. Everyone was shocked, devastated, but somehow had to regain enough composure to go back to work. I've just finished two night shifts. At the end of the first one I could tell something wasn't right. The sister who was taking over for the day shift looked too flustered and stressed, given we weren't very busy. But I didn't think anything else of it, and went home to bed. I was woken at one point by a phone call, but was too half-asleep to realise what it was in time, so went back to sleep. Then, as I was cooking dinner, a friend from work phoned to 'see if I was ok'. Yeah... I said. She asked if work had phoned me. No, I'm going in tonight, I replied, although I recalled the previous missed call. And so she told me. I stood in the kitchen with my jaw hung open for a minute or two, unable to believe what I was hearing. I ate my dinner, but didn't have the same appetite as before. Mr B dropped me off at work and the atmosphere immediately dropped, compared to elsewhere. Nobody could believe it. Overnight everyone was very supportive of each other. We were encouraged to take extra breaks and a couple of free staff went out to buy food and (non-alcoholic) drink for everyone. I'd been holding it together, until the sister who was in charge, asked me if I was ok. I cried all over her, which I immediately felt bad about, but she insisted it was ok. I was supposed to be in a cubicle by myself all night, but she said I should prop the door open and join the others outside. At 2am I went to the prayer room, which was another good chance to let out some of my emotions. At the end of the shift, not feeling like sleeping yet, I went over the road and had a hot chocolate and cookie. I just can't imagine how his wife and children must be feeling. Or the people who have worked beside him for over 10 years. His children are old enough to have known him, to have enjoyed him, to have loved him. Old enough to know that he's not there anymore. But not old enough to know what to do with all these messed up feelings. It feels, in a way, like day ja vue from two and a half years ago. Only a different group of people. Someone I knew well enough to miss, has gone. And it has affected everyone in work. The senior staff on yesterday had to phone over 100 people to tell them the news. I think it's going to be a while before things return to normal in work.