Categories: general
Date: 10 January 2008 12:45:50
When you've had a past experience, which was emotionally draining and painful, it tends to make you very aware of the possibility of it re-occurring or developing into something worse. The specific example I am referring to, I'd prefer not to go into the details here, but many readers who know me will be able to identify what I'm talking about.
It is a bit like when I was 6 and I burnt my hand quite badly on an iron. The pain was so bad, I can remember screaming the house down - I didn't have much basic first aid knowledge then, so I didn't have the sense to stick it under cold water. All I could do was scream until my Mum came. And ever since I have been incredibly careful around irons. For a while afterwards, I wouldn't walk past my mum when she was ironing - I'd go around the long way. Now I am obviously better than that, I iron for myself, but I am always very aware of where the iron is, and where I am placing my hands.
Since a medical experience last year (and others within my family) I have been very aware of the possibility of it happening again. I keep asking, 'so what about that?' over and over. And each time I worry about it to varying degrees. It doesn't help that because Swansea NHS have been rubbish at transferring me to my new NHS trust, I've missed 2 check up appointments. Most of the time, the doctors are open to my enquires, and ensure me that it is the sensible thing to do. But I can't help feeling a bit paranoid about it all. I think when I do eventually get to see the specialist again, I'm going to ask them to check everywhere. Then I'll know whether its ok, or not. And if its not, then I'll be in the right place to get it sorted.