Grief

Categories: swansea

Tags: Mike

Date: 23 January 2007 18:01:55

I wanted to write something about this for a while, but haven't been able to find the right words. Two friends have done a much better job at finding the words than I can. But I'll have a go.

These past couple of months certainly haven't been easy. The only other funeral I've been to was my Gran's, who was nearly 93 when she died. And its very different greiving for a 23 year old. Someone my age. My peer. My friend. When I think about the circumstances, all I can think is 'but why?'. As I said to Pippa after the church service, 'we shouldn't have to do this'. We just shouldn't. Especially when Michael was such an amazing, good natured, young man.

As Wood spoke about, reactions of others can be interesting. Numerous of my coursemates asked me if I was doing / had done anything good at the weekend. Its hard to know whether to tell people everything and deal with their shocked silence, or to simply say something vague and non-descriptive. I tend to do a mixture, depending on how I was feeling and who I was speaking to.

Saturday was a very odd day. At the start of the day, it hadn't really sunk in what I was going to. Why I was making this journey from Manchester northwards. Of course I knew, just the reality of it really hadn't hit yet. Until the coffin was carried in. Then it hit. The rest of the day I experienced a mixture of sorrow, nerves and general tension. My head ached, my stomach churned and tears flowed. By the end of it I was completely drained both physically and emotionally.

The service was very well done, very Mike. It allowed us to laugh at cute childhood tales, remember the good times we spent with him and say goodbye. Very fittingly Canaan's Land was played, although I don't know how the song expects there not to be a teared-dimmed eye!

I'd like to finish with a few lines of a song I found myself listening to on the journey both there and back. Its a song called Some of Us by Martyn Joseph and it seemed to sum up so much.

Some of us are present
Some of us have gone
Some of us are restless
We wait in this place
Between the vale of circumstance
Waiting for Grace

Update
Since posting this, I have found numerous other wibloggers entries about the funeral, all of which are of great value. It doesn't matter how well something is written, its the thought and the personal value of it that counts, so all blog posts are appreciated. Sorry if I've missed anyone out, I don't have time to read everybodys wiblogs these days.