Categories: uncategorized
Date: 23 January 2005 13:45:20
Yesterday afternoon I did my first shift at the hospice for a couple of months. Something they do there is taped handovers - so instead of the previous shift's staff handing over the patients in person they record their handover. It also meant that, as a bank staff coming in later than the regular staff, I didn't have to take up somebody's time getting them to hand over to me, but could just sit in the staffroom and listen without disturbing anyone. So, I noted down all I needed to note down, and then at the end the (anonymous) (to me, anyway) nurse handing over said that [Name] who had been in Room X had died during the night shift. Now [Name] was somebody who was a very prominent member of my old church movement (and I suspect may well be the same person that Eutychus mentioned yesterday in his blog). It was very very strange finding out about his death from an unknown recorded voice. I didn't know him personally or anything (he certainly wouldn't have known me from Adam), but he and many like him represent a huge part of my past, so it was still quite a shock.
Anyway, it got me thinking about him, and about my old church, and I remember how I had always thought of him and his wife as a bit scary as they seemed to me to be "professional Christians" in a way that I'd never manage. But the one thing which I remember above anything else is that watching him worship, it was obvious that he was totally transfixed by the thought of worshipping his Lord, that it wouldn't have occurred to him to worry about what anybody else thought of him, and that his whole life revolved round his love of Christ. I think that's really important for me to remember, as I care inordinately what other people think and let who knows how much other stuff get in the way of worshipping and loving Christ. I think it's also really good for me that I can only think of him in that way - I find it so easy to be negative about that whole church experience, but people like him and his example remind me that it wasn't all bad, that there were many people there who showed me the reality of the verse "I am not ashamed of the Gospel...", and that despite the crap of the last few years there there is still much to be thankful for.
My prayers go out to his wife, family and the church. This will be a huge loss to many, many people.