Categories: uncategorized
Date: 01 March 2005 18:27:33
Today I got a gushing email from the supervisor so it looks like my last minute changes have done the trick - I won't know for a while where I stand, and of course it entirely depends on how the other applicants have done as well, but I can honestly say I have done my best. We'll see in time whether my best is good enough. I'm having a few crises of confidence every so often when I think of what I'm wanting to research but hopefully I'll get the time to rationally think through the natural fears and come up with ways of dealing with them.
This afternoon I had my first introductory counselling session. It went well in terms of building up some kind of trust and relationship and boundaries that I'm happy with, although getting myself ready for it (not really knowing what to expect) was such a silly drama. For some reason it was really important to me what I wore - first impressions and all that - so just before I left the house I had a shoe crisis: comfortable flatties or boots with heels? How stupid is that? I suppose not so stupid as a lot of my issues are to do with how stuff from the past affect how I see myself now, affecting how I relate to other people. And then as I was walking to the counsellor's place I realised that I'd forgot to put my tissues in the bag, and was worrying about should I ask her if she had any tissues I could use, and then I realised that that was probably quite a stupid question to ask a counsellor! Sometimes I'm such a twit. Anyway, it went well - I liked her, she's obviously very experienced and she was very perceptive, which is what I need - someone to ask me the right questions, and to help me see the wood for the trees. I may have to take out shares in a tissue company though.
Other things I've done today include contacting a solicitor about selling my house. But amongst all of that, the scariest thing of all was ....... making an appointment to get my hair cut. I've been putting it off for too long, and finally had to admit it looks awful again, bite the bullet and make the appointment. Sigh. What a stupid phobia.