Categories: uncategorized
Date: 22 April 2005 19:22:50
I don't know what I expected from this diet - maybe that somehow it would magically transform me into a fabulously feminine girlie as my waist miraculously reappeared from beneath the lovehandles. Today proved that whatever else it's doing, it's going to take more than Carol Vorderman to turn me into a girlie girl.
When I was a kid I *always* had scabby knees. I was so clumsy, I was always falling over and walking into things, and no sooner would one lot of scabs heal then I'd fall over and get a new lot. These days I don't fall over so regularly (though I still keep walking into tables so always have bruised thighs, mmm gorgeous) but when I do it's more spectacular. Scabby knees? Pah! Broken foot and ripped shoulder ligaments more like it! Today after my final visit of the day I was walking back to the surgery, and had just crossed one of Deptford's busiest junctions which is always full of cars at that time heading out of the city in 1st gear as they can't go any faster. So, like the broken foot fall (Lewisham High Street on the last Saturday before Christmas by a bus stop) and the shoulder ligaments fall (wedding reception ceilidh) I had quite an audience for my totally unglamorous and frankly elephantine trip which had me briefly airborne before ending up sprawled out on my face desperately wishing those kind people weren't all running to help me get up but would just pretend they'd not seen anything at all. Not such spectacular damage this time (grazed elbow, big bruises on each knee and lots of Deptford muck on trousers) but the pride is just as wounded and mortified.
Someone tell me what I have to do to be a girl! I'm so so not good at it.