Scary

Date: 27 September 2005 20:53:56

I saw a couple more flats this afternoon, including one I really like. I think I'm going to make an offer. Eek.

It hasn't got a garden though. Well, it has a communal washing line/bin area, but it's not the same. I'm sure I could brighten it up a bit though. And there's a really nice park just down the road.

And lets face it, I'm in Scotland, less than an hour from Loch Lomond and the Trossachs, not to mention the Highlands and Islands beyond, so I'm hardly going to be lacking greenery or stuff to draw.

I got a bit emotional though - I've been feeling a bit "alone" for a while, and it's these big decisions like buying a flat when singleness really hits home - it's all my decision (which on many levels is great) but there's no-one to share the scariness, not to mention share the excitement. And in the first place I saw today, the guy showing me round was an old guy who was selling the flat as his wife (of 57 years) had recently died and he couldn't face being there without her. He told me all about her, how wonderful she was, how he misses her, and I felt more than a little pang of "that's the type of love I'd love to experience, and where is it?" Sigh.