Categories: uncategorized
Date: 26 June 2004 14:50:09
Last week we were given a survey at church - partly to ascertain our views as to the best use of our church hall, which is going to be modernised and tarted up, and partly as a more general parish/church survey for someone who has just started her OLM training. I managed to answer most questions, including the ones about what it's like living in the parish (even though I haven't got much idea as I live some way away and cross I don't know how many parish boundaries to get there), but I've drawn a total blank at the questions asking about what I can offer the church, either to serve in the church's existing ministries or to help in any way with the problems I may have identified. I find it really difficult - having left a church where I was very very involved, I started going to this one and am really valuing the chance to just be pew fodder for a while, while I recharge my batteries. Quite apart from anything else, with all the studying etc I often feel like I've got very little left to give. Which worries me - it's getting awfully easy to get into the habit of saying "I'm too busy" or "I couldn't handle that, it's too like my last church". Just because I feel my current church, lovely though it is, is a transition point while I stay in London prior to moving away and so I don't want to get massively involved other than going to a housegroup and occasionally being involved in music, that doesn't mean I should sit back and let everyone else do the work, surely? They're very good, and don't put on any pressure at all to get involved (unlike my last church), but I must say I really don't know where the balance should lie.
A former colleague of mine has just phoned - she was actually phoning for my lodger who is a good friend of hers, but when I answer we always have a bit of a chat. And the first thing she said to me was "I hear you're leaving to study up north" which I have to say alarmed me a bit - I've mentioned to a very very few people in real life that I'm planning on applying at the end of this year to move next year and study from autumn 2005, but she is now the second former colleague who has heard something through the grapevine and assumed that I'm going soon and that it's all definite. I think I'm going to have to be more careful who I talk to - I don't mind people knowing my plans, but when they get distorted from plans to assumed actual happenings it gets a bit unnerving, particularly as apart from my two close current colleagues I've not told anyone else who I'm working with currently, and I want them to find out from me (as opposed to the grapevine) when there's something to actually tell them. For goodness sake, I haven't even applied yet, and won't do for some months, and won't know for sure till probably this time next year whether anything's going to happen or not.
Oh well. I'm really pleased people are interested, though to be honest I'd be happier if they got their facts right!