Categories: uncategorized
Date: 20 December 2004 21:46:37
.... are stressing me out.
Please, when I say I've planned to spend Christmas by myself, just accept that that's a *good thing* and I'm looking forward to it. I'm not depressed, I'm not being antisocial, I'm just knackered, that's all. And the thought of those 4 days where I can do the things I'm stressing myself about because I've not had time to do them well or at all (such as my garden, and my research proposal) without having to worry about being somewhere else at a particular time, or having to get up in the morning for work, and the chance to sleep for 4 days if that's what it takes, is actually what's keeping me going this week. I'm really grateful that you care enough and I know that if I change my mind I'll be welcome at about 20 Christmas meals, and I won't feel at all embarrassed about asking. But please. I'm actually really wanting to be more sociable next year, and to make more time for people, and the start of a new year always gives me a very real burst of energy, it's the whole new start thing which is a bit odd as it's really just another day like any other. But likewise, the end of a year always feels like wading through treacle, and right now I just need to stop and rest. Please just accept that. Thank you.
I'm sorry if that sounds miserable and antisocial. I don't feel miserable or antisocial at all. But I really had to get it out of my system - if one more person sympathetically invites me round for Christmas when they hear I'm going to be on my own I'm going to cry. I don't need sympathy for something I've been looking forward to for ages!