Categories: depression
Date: 13 March 2006 20:52:59
Things aren't too crash-hot at the moment.
I feel overwhelmed, though I'm sure anyone else could cope. I just don't feel I have the strength to do all I need to do: which isn't a lot, grant you, but I've never been good at coping with mutliple things. I am but a simple man after all, unable to multi-task like those of the fairer sex. ;)
I'm off to the doctor today [and to find a doctor in my new town], after a sleepless and sick night, to see about the level of my anti-depressant medication and also talk about a few other things. It is very odd, and rather frightening (to me at least), how my depression seems to come back with avengeance in mid-March each year.
My spiritual life is also practically non-existant: this is my first year in the Orthodox Church and I feel I'm making a right balls-up of it: I'm reading the Bible once a week if that, and barely comprehending; I can't recall the last time I prayed: I just feel so confused...so unsure...so unable. I try and do any of these and it falls apart before me: I can't concentrate, I can't read, I can't comprehend.
Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.
But thanks be to God for good friends: I rang a dear friend in England just for a chat [what else can one do in the early hours of the morning here? ;-)], but all of this came out in the discussion. I'm blessed to know her, and though 1000s of kilometres may separate us, I know through prayer and through a life in Christ we are close. I also called a dear friend in the US who listened to me and called back in the evening. Thanks be to God for friends.