Date: 21 June 2006 03:47:58
Lovely to see the rain: and a reasonable amount of it, hopefully. Almost 90% of NSW is currently drought-declared: up from just over 60% last month.
A quick-and-easy optometrist appointment yesterday: I have some new glasses ordered, and thanks to my Health Fund [which I switched to earlier in the year after my last one kept raising premiums and cutting back on services] being a "preferred provider" with the store I went to, I received a further 20% off the frames and 15% of the lenses -- in addition to the Health Fund paying a fair whack of the cost of my lenses. Top stuff.
I've also made an appointment for next week to have a consultation to see if I can have contact lenses. I've been told for the past three years my prescription suits them, but I haven't investigated them: after being told again they'd suit my circumstances, being finally worn down, I thought I'd give them a go.
My second CBT session went well: I have a heap of homework to do, mainly recording my thoughts and feelings when I am anxious. I may be a bit of an eager-beaver, but I can see the benefit in doing this: seeing things in black-and-white gives me a new perspective. Writing down my thoughts enables me to better see what I actually am thinking and how I feel: and as well as this I am to write down how I felt after the event -- so as to see whether or not the disaster scenario I envisaged in my mind actually happened.
I also have to bring a few past incidents to mind when I felt particularly anxious, and write what actually happened: hopefully giving me some concrete examples of proving my 'everything will be a disaster!' mentality incorrect. I am very pessimistic and I tend to imagine the worst will happen when I find myself in a new or unknown situation, or even when I am heading out somewhere with friends: I expend extraordinarily amounts of effort in imagining what could go wrong, especially as the time draws nearer. I love being with friends and meeting people: I am just ever-so anxious before the event: physically unwell, thinking it will be a disaster and I'll stuff something up... That is the main reason, in addition to my depression, for me seeking out such therapy.
I do pray it will, by God's grace, help me to function a little bit better.