Categories: anxiety, stress, work, friends, self-esteem
Date: 23 August 2010 07:45:04
I had a most wonderful Saturday; the most wondrous day I have had for a while.
I visited my Godfather/Sponsor in the Orthodox Church, a man younger than me, from 9:30 to around 20:00. His wife had made a most scrumptious breakfast, the table groaning under the weight of the delights that lay there: thick pancakes; toasted ham and cheese sandwiches; cucumber, tomato and cheese; Lebanese bread; and an assortment of pastries. Needless to say lunch, at a nearby Japanese restaurant [various meat on skewers for my Godfather; vegetable and prawn tempura for me] was late and a struggle to get through. I had the joy of catching up not only with my Godfather and his most wonderful wife, but also in seeing their year-old son whom I have not seen for about a year.
It was a most blessed day; my Godfather and his wife are two of the most wonderful people you could ever hope to meet: and I feel particularly blessed in knowing them and in having W as my Godfather. After breakfast, and their suggestions to me of where to go and how to go in Lebanon and Syria, I showed them my photos from my holiday to Istanbul and Georgia last year and they showed me photos of their latest trip as well as of their son's first birthday. I also spent some time walkng, eating lunch and talking with W, and he is a great and wise man in worldly and spiritual matters and I greatly appreciated that I can ask him for advice. As the night drew on, we watched the election tally, while he fed his son, and we talked and enjoyed watching his son eat.
I am blessed with good friends. And I am thankful to God for them. Particularly at moments like this where I am struggling to get through a day at work, and a day like today where I was bursting into tears and avoiding people by going outside -- how pathetic. Truly. I just am so lost in a sense. I know I am blessed in all my employer has done for me, and I see that I am well-liked: should that make it easier? I don't know. Perhaps it should. But each day is a struggle, and when you wake up at 3am in an anxious state about the day ahead it does not help.
I've made my decision: and I know, well I hope, it was the right one. It is not set in stone, but at the same time I should not rush to change it -- especially when I am feeling as I am. But, and apologies for sounding like a whinger and whiner, but I can only say how it is: and at the moment each day is a hard slog.