Categories: anxiety, family, friends, self-esteem, television, food, relationships
Date: 18 April 2010 07:04:50
Friday night BBQ at a friend's place was great. Great food, great people and great fun. The food ranged from salads to tabouleh to Lebanese bread with hummus and baba ganoush [eggplant] dips to sliced potates grilled on a homemade bbq my friend had made; also grilled was garlic bread and, of course, meat -- and plenty of it: on skewers we had chicken, lamb and kafta [lamb [can be beef] mixed with spices and/or onions]. Cocktails were also whipped up, and then there was dessert: tiramisu, fruit salads, dried apricots and chocolate, and I am sure more; tea, coffee and hot chocolate with marshmallows too. No chance of going hungry... After dessert, we started playing Pictionary, but after the team I was on began to win constantly and move quite ahead of the others, the game was switched to charades. At which point our all-male team faltered and an all-female team triumphed, with the mixed teams somewhere in between. Make of that what you will. I also met my friend's music teacher and a friend of his he once tutored, who were wonderful and humorous people. And great to spend a fun evening with them, as well as my priest and his family and my fellow parishioners, friends even.
Saturday morning putt-putt with Skye was fantastic; a real joy to spend time with her. I needed to caution her a few times about not swinging the putter way above her head!, but she soon got the hang of it and put me to shame getting three hole-in-ones compared to my one. We played 2 rounds of 18 holes [each 2-par], playing the Waterways and then Jungle Trail courses [she loved seeing the animals and would yell out their names as they came into view...]; I think it may've been a bit much as she tired mid-way round the second, but wanted to keep going. It was then to the Golden Arches and her with her cheeseburger Happy Meal and me with an iced mocha and orange and poppyseed muffin [she cannot currently have dairy, otherwise ferijen's suggestion of place with ice-cream was where I was intending to go, or to a chocolate café...] Then she played on the play equipment while I watched, and then and I took her home. A very fun morning. Played a little with Eden too [Jessie again asleep] which was fun, and Skye had some drawings for me [I'll take a photo and put them up] which are always a joy to receive. I tend to take them to work and stick them up; a nice reminder of my nieces and my love for them, and theirs for me.
I then headed to my colleague's, my friend's, place as that morning during a church service [from 7:30am to noon!] his daughter was baptised so there was a celebration for her as well as a belated second birthday celebration for his son. It was only a small gathering so I felt particularly blessed and honoured to be invited. I arrived as my friends had left to pick up balloons and cake, so after speaking to all, I settled down on the couch and spoke to one of his friends, Godfather to his children and he to his, on many topics and played with his children, his 5 year-old in particular. On my friend's return, food flowed freely: spicy Eritrean food, but thanks to the presence of a tasty yoghurt I was able to soothe the burning from the small amount of chilli food I had. Piling food on top of injera, the traditional bread of Eritrea, as well as Ethiopia, Somalia and Yemen, and eating it with one's hand while chatting away is a joyous experience. Dancing started after the cake, both a 'western' one and the traditional Eritrean one [a large circular piece of bread, which was cut into wedges and lifted aloft while congratulations were given to the birthday boy], which was great to watch and see.
After all this, I was not particularly relishing a drive to the city to eat, as much as I was looking forward to seeing friends, nor the noise and hustle and bustle, so I made my excuses and came home. The friend I called had spoken to me Friday evening when I called her in tears, so I am sure she half-expected it, or at least was aware of where I was coming from, and did not push the point.
Church was a blessing, for the time I stayed, and the Betrothal Service was a joy and blessing to be at. My friend looked stunning in her white dress and the 'groom', for want of a better word [not sure of the terms] looked dapper. A joy to see her happy and finding her husband-to-be. The priest who received me into the Orthodox Church was celebrating, and it was a joy to see him and his wife again, as well as seeing some friends who worship at a different parish whom I have not seen for a while. And, of course, a blessing to see those from my parish and chat to them. I did leave after the service, feeling a bit guilty, but I did need some time to myself. Which I am enjoying.
I am blessed. Times like these give me some hope that I can see I am blessed and am able to mix in company. As well as helping by letting in, however tiny, a crack of light to my dark world where I believe I am not worthy of friendship or even love. I am sure to most people I seem rather confused, if not downright stupid in not seeing this; in a sense I agree. But as I come to realise my emotional age, particularly in relation to relationships, is considerably less than my 33 years, it gives me a starting point and some form of understanding as to why I act and think as I do: even if I am unsure of the direction to head in.
This weekend was far more social than my usual, and I am not meaning to sound ungrateful when I say it can all be a bit much at times. For me, it just happens to be a bit too intense for me to be able to stay as long as others can, or to do activities others can. I am trying as best as I can to find some balance, for I am usually one who goes to extremes: intense activity each moment or complete withdrawal. Slowly, I pray, I am learning there can be a middle ground. For which thanks and praise be to God, for His Mercy and His Love, shown from Himself as well as mediated through the wonderful people I am blessed to know -- here on the Internet as much as those I know through uni, work, church or study.
In other things to be thankful for...just under two-and-a-half hours to the start of the new series of Doctor Who...