Core Beliefs

Date: 20 January 2010 10:09:21

As an aside to previous blogs and ones in the future, it may seem like I am some sort of hyper-proponent of these techniques of CBT [Cognitive Behaviour Therapy]; I will say it fits with and helps my situation whereas I know people for whom it simply does not work and other techniques are more beneficial. I consider myself lucky to have found something that fits with and helps me.

From the little I picked up in hospital and with my psychologist since being discharged, my inability to see positives that should be clear as day has to do with a little, or perhaps not so little!, something called "Core Beliefs". This page from the Centre for Clinical Interventions website explains Core Beliefs and the negative impact negative core beliefs can have as well as an overview of how to challenge and change them. As it says:

Core beliefs are the very essence of how we see ourselves, other people, the world and the future.
...
Core beliefs are strongly-held, rigid and inflexible beliefs that are maintained by the tendency to focus on information that supports the belief and ignoring evidence that contradicts it.

It is that tendency to focus on information that supports the belief and ignoring evidence that contradicts it that leads me to act/think in a way that reflects, "I am not likeable, let alone lovable.", "I do not fit in anywhere.", "I am not good enough.", "I am only worth what I can do for others.", and so on [yes, there are more]. Despite the fact people e-mail or call, or ask me at work how things are going and how I am coping being back, or post wonderfully supporting comments on a blog, when that negative thought comes such contradictory evidence is for me simply not there, not visible.

And that is where challenging, in a written, formal and practical way comes in. An explantion of that and my own struggles is for another day, suffice it to say these core beliefs are not readily identifiable. My fear of going to lunch, for instance, may appear in mind as simply a feeling of fear or a belief that I will do/say something stupid. Changing the thought ["I may not do something stupid.", "Even if I say/do something stupid I am not going to lose that friend."] or behaviour [forcing myself to go rather than making excuses] is important and necessary, but, so I believe from the little I know of CBT, of importance also, and perhaps moreso, is identifying and changing that core belief. Because it is the presence of that negative core belief that gives rise to such unhelpful thoughts and behaviours.

That is hard work -- particularly when they've been part of my life for 20 or so years. And it takes practice, lots of practice, and time. But with trust in the mercy and love of God, and with the most wondrous support I have offline and online, I feel I owe it to myself, as much as those around me who give me such love and encouragement to continue, to give it my best shot.