Categories: anxiety, self-esteem, food
Date: 17 January 2010 02:22:41
I and several others were invited by a wonderful couple from Church for lunch at their place yesterday: and what a wonderful lunch it was. Arriving at 12:30, I didn't leave until close to 18:30: a very pleasant afternoon of food, talking, more food, watching and playing with kids, and yet more food: prawns and diced tomatoes on zucchini for entrée; lamb, pork belly, potatoes, sweet potatoes, beans and broccoli for main; and two, yes two, wondrous desserts the name of which I have no idea suffice it to say fruit, cake/biscuit and some form of alcohol was involved. The hostess is a most amazing cook, as was one of the other guests who brought a dessert. I was exceptionally nervous before-hand, and a bit when I got there, but the afternoon simply flew by. I was very happy I challenged my behaviour to avoid/withdrawl and did go because it was simply a most enjoyable afternoon.
Today, however, I needed some time to my own so I went to a Parramatta Park and worked through some modules on Self-Esteem from the very helpful resource page from the Centre for Clinical Interventions [recommended by the psychologist I saw in hospital]. As well as the Self-Esteem module, I've also downloaded the Social Anxiety, Worrying, Perfectionism and Assertiveness modules ['in for a penny, in for a pound' as they say!] which I will work my way through. They are rather confronting at times, and hard work, but it has, and will, bring progress. I then went to St Patrick's Cathedral for a Mass there before coming home.
[I have just realised through a friend's comment on Facebook it is Zacchaeus Sunday in the Eastern Orthodox calendar today, which means the 3 weeks of preparation for Great Lent begin next Sunday -- it has come around very quickly!]
I have also been single-handedly supporting Chocolateria San Churro the last few days: their chocolate, hot or cold, is so wondrous. And I thought I deserved a bit of indulgence for pushing through some tough days this week and also, occasionally, challenging my unhelpful thoughts and behaviour; I know there are many times I do indulge in such unhelpful behaviours [withdrawl; avoidance; over-compensating...], but I am happy to be recognising my unhelpful thoughts and behaviours and even taking a few small steps forward, even if there are a few steps back as well. For me it is one thing to identify such destructive thoughts: yet another thing entirely [and so draining mentally and emotionally] to change the behaviour let alone attempt to change the thought.