Back to Church

Categories: parish-life, spiritual-writings

Date: 02 March 2008 04:53:03

First, thank you all for the comments, suggestions and prayers with regard to my last post. They were all gratefully received.

I went back to church today: a bit late, and my mind wasn't there. However, afterwards, a, small but tangible, sense of peace and love filled me. Yes, that may make you think as if I'm ready to be carted off by the men in white coats, but I cannot describe it any other way. To be honest, through the first part of the Divine Liturgy my mind was wandering and I was restless. But as we reached the Eucharistic Canon and in particular the pre-Communion prayers, I did feel a small sense of peace.

This continued after the Liturgy: speaking to our priest [briefly] and to several parishioners, including my Godfather who is one truly amazing individual and someone I respect greatly. Among all the frustrations, my own mainly, I am thankful for such a loving parish community. God willing, I will catch up for coffee with our priest this week.

I read the following extracts of Saint Symeon the New Theologian's ["the New": he died in 1022 -- Orthodoxy moves slowly :)] prayer of Preparation for Holy Communion in Wounded by Love - The Life and the Wisdom of Elder Porphyrios, a book I heartily recommend. Some joy and hope among the fears and frustrations I have with my continued irritability and ease of falling into anger:

I know, Saviour, that none other
has, as I have, sinned against You,
nor done the deeds that I have done.
But this again I surely know:
neither magnitude of errors,
nor multitude of transgressions,
can surpass my God's great patience
and His love for man unbounded.

...

Neither tears shed in my weeping
nor the slightest falling tearlet,
O my God, escapes Your notice,
O my Maker, my Redeemer.

...

Thanks be to God. And thank you to you, dear readers, again.