My time in Ireland
Categories: holidays, work, self-esteem
Date: 10 November 2004 05:28:43
Dee recently wrote a wonderful post which included a discussion on the limitations we place on ourselves, and the discovery -- as we mature -- that we are indeed capable of much.
I'm still struggling with low self-esteem and a lack of self-belief, but the beginnings of a turn around on this occurred in 2002 when I got to travel to Dublin for work. It was a very exciting six months: a new country, new people, a new office...but most importantly for my Christian life, a new church [but more on that later].
I do not mean to sound conceited, but I believe I did a great amount of growing in my time there. I formed friendships; I survived living on my own; I travelled extensively [though I always have -- I love travel!]; and when the office closed down unexpectedly I went to Germany and found a job there [which, unfortunately, fell through due to the IT downturn]: all of these things helped me greatly to gain confidence in myself and understand that I am a somewhat intelligent human being who can do things. It was a revelation indeed.
I was someone with whom people wanted to talk with. I was someone who could make friends. I was someone who had an opinion. These things were hidden before, and they were now exposed. I can't pinpoint any particular incident which led to this "awakening": I believe it was the entire experience.
My Christian faith changed dramatically too. I settled into a High Anglican church. This brought with it, after initial struggles, an identifying with a visual faith. In my few journeys around Ireland, Celtic crosses were one of the most prominent visual expressions of faith.
The Moone High Cross (above) was one of my favourites: I spent a great deal of time at that particular site. The sheer variety of the Biblical stories carved, which nevertheless formed a whole, had me mesmerised. And this repeated itself on my many other visits to other crosses, monasteries and other religious sites. [It always amazed me that these would be found by the side of a main road, perhaps in a farmer's paddock, and you would just get out and traipse in and have a look. You've got to love Ireland!]
I began to discover mystical writers such as St John of the Cross and the monk who wrote The Cloud of Unknowing. I began to discover early Christianity. I touched on the beginnings of understanding Celtic Christianity. And it fitted.
Coming back home, I continued this voyage of discovery...and it has led me, eventually, to look into the Orthodox Church. My time in Ireland was a key point in this voyage of mine, and the simple Celtic cross I wear around my neck each day not only helps me to primarily remember my saviour Jesus Christ, but serves as a reminder of His grace and help to me on my Christian pilgrimage, and my time in Ireland especially.