Categories: work
Date: 04 July 2008 11:27:03
Well, thanks and praise to God, the project appears to have been relatively successful. In fact, given the constraints and issues [very short time-frame; delayed delivery of migration data from other company; all modules not completed by IT contractor; some misunderstandings of mine] it went rather well. There were, and are, issues -- as there always are with IT projects; if anyone tells me everything is fine and they are 100% sure nothing will go wrong, unpleasant thoughts about them tend to run through my mind -- but we are gradually getting there.
After being at work from 11am Monday, I headed home at around 10am Tuesday. No sleep overnight: in fact, it went rather quickly as there was plenty to do. It was also interesting seeing what goes on at the recycling place behind us: we know of their day work -- the night shift brings a whole new range of noises and activities [cutting reams of paper with chainsaw-like devices; using blowers to clear the floor; forklifts driving around...], which are so clearly audible in the deadly quiet of downtown Moorebank overnight. We are on a main road, near the motorway, and are used to noise during the day; at night it is, excluding the noise from the recycling place, so very, very quiet.
Getting home, I found myself over-tired so, like a conscientious, but perhaps foolish, moth to the flame, I connected to work and did a bit more stuff. At about 1:45pm the eyelids started drooping, and I headed off to bed, falling asleep from about 2pm to 9:30pm. I then got up, connected to work, did some more work, and headed off to bed around 2:30am. I woke at 8:00am Wednesday, and headed to work -- the brain did slow down from about 3pm. I also worked a full day Thursday, again, perhaps not at full capacity, but took this morning [Friday] off to watch my niece's swimming lessons progress. I know I am biased, but she is doing wonderfully with her diving for rings at the bottom, paddling and using the kickboard, swimming, with support, on her back, and jumping in off the edge. I am a proud uncle.
Anyway, my last "extra" effort should be tomorrow when I go in [I usually don't go in Saturdays, but I have the past three] to get my monthly reports done. There will be more work needed, but, God willing, it can be done as part of standard hours [or an hour or so back, if that].
Unfortunately, the stress of the whole thing has made me a rather unpleasant person at times I believe. I have been a bit short with people, particularly at work. While I do admit some of this was my own inability to deal with things, and to co-ordinate myself, I do feel as if some people [and thankfully it is only a few] are simply not engaging their brains. Yes, some things are new: I do understand that. But the obvious is being overlooked in view and people appear to not be able to cope without disturbing me -- even when I have, only several minutes prior, asked them to wait until I see them as I am in the middle of something. It is rather trying, to be honest. I do love people, and I love my work colleagues, but this week has got me thinking.
I am content with my job: and for me that is good enough -- usually. I get satisfaction from jobs well done, but additional satisfaction and enjoyment come from the things I do outside of work: my studies, my catch-ups with friends, a movie, a book... I try not to define myself by what I do from 8:30 to 5: it is, to me, a very small part of who I am. Which is difficult enough with many of my friends who do define themselves by what they do and cannot understand why I don't go for higher paying jobs: the higher stress, and "I couldn't really care" are two factors that spring to my mind, but they do not seem to understand. We are simply at different places. Occasionally, I do wonder if I should throw caution to the wind and change something in my work life. Change dramatically even.
Of course, two weeks down the track these thoughts may be a distant memory. But they do arise, and cause me to wonder "what if?" And I think these times are the hardest to be in a job you know is really going nowhere [not that I want to "go somewhere": a steady 8:30 - 5 job is all I want], and yet I wonder what it is I am supposed to make of this life God has given me.
But I suppose that is how most people feel anyway. And part of our journey through life.