Categories: uncategorized
Date: 06 September 2005 09:11:09
i've wandered around putting up posters, and so has Mr Fishsoup and we've put flyers through letterboxes. In a moment I'll ring the vet and the animal shelters. You would never think that where we live has so much wasteground, but I've found lots of brambles, and the place where clearly all the local cats go to eat. (taped up letterbox, open door, food everywhere etc). But four nights is a long time. Unless he's trapped somewhere, I guess he won't come back. We're pretty heartbroken- we lost the other cat when he was still a baby (run over) and it seems so unfair to lose this one when every other cat in the area seems in rude health.
I'm trying to get it into proportion though. Custard (while lovely and part of our family) is/was only a cat. If I focus on the other things to deal with this week they are far more important and actually involve people. The office is going pretty badly - and people are still trying to take my job away from me. I'm bewildered. Why would anyone want to do that? Everyone is so unsure of themselves that they are all posturing and going on about how wonderful their stories are - and I'm not very good at that. I keep having to try not to cry (sometimes not very successfully). It's amazing how other journalists make themselves feel better by putting their colleagues down.
My friend told me the other day that you can't cry and whistle at the same time, which seems to be the best tip for not weeping copiously in the office. Unfortunately I'm now whistling instead - it works mostly. But what with the whistling, the wandering round the block with a box of fish-based treats calling "Custard, Custard", and the occasional tearfulness, I am beginning to wonder whether I'm beginning to get a bit of a reputation. I seriously thought yesterday "if I go to the doctor and explain what's going on, he might sign me off for a few weeks". Scary stuff indeed. I don't think I really mean that.
Oh, and there's God of course. I am praying about this - but it''s not so easy. A former colleague of mine prayed with me yesterday, which was lovely of him, but he keeps going on about work stuff which just stresses me out - he's doing pretty well out of the whole regime change which just proves that sometimes nice people really do get on in newspapers. I just don't know where I am. Or where God is right now.