Categories: uncategorized
Date: 12 September 2005 08:27:14
A comedian once remarked that, if you attended an orgy, there was always a fat man on the stairs eating ham. Before you ask, I've never been to one, but that comment seems to sum up many of the parties I go to, and especially used to go to as a student. Instead of a fat man eating ham, there was always someone sitting on the stairs sobbing - and I was usually in the kitchen doing the washing up, or trying to persuade some person or other not to do something they'd regret almost immediately.
I am obviously not very good at parties. The weekend found us back in my old university town, but not with the people I was at university with. In fact, it was the first party I've been to that I haven't hosted that mixed journalists and Christians, which was great. My husband had a fantastic time. He met all sorts of interesting people, had some great chats and came out glowing. I failed to eat (or in fact drink) anything the entire time until it was time to go home, and spent at least an hour of it in the Accident and Emergency department of the local hospital.
Don't get me wrong, I met some great people too - the man running the kitesurfing church in Leicester was particularly fascinating (and may be worth a newspaper article at some point), and actually it was the least traumatic trip I'd taken to A&E in a while. The girl I took was sorted out really quickly (though not helped by her drunken friend who nearly got us thrown out), but I can't help thinking that I'd have had more fun chatting to people.
I need to rethink my party strategy. Instead of being prepared to have intense conversations with people in the corner (top samples from this weekend "How on earth can you seriously believe that Jesus Christ, who is obviously just a symbol, was really God and man? Are you completely naive?" - my not very helpful answer was, unfortunately "Well, I just do." And some really, really unpleasant stuff that I shan't blog here, to which my answer was - "well if you have that opinion you really needn't be here, you know.") I need to become really, really trivial. When people ask me things like that I shall say "but have you seen my new shoes?" or "What do you think of Heat magazine this month". That way I shall cruise seamlessly from group to group at parties, never getting caught by someone who wants to have an indepth chat about marriage, psychology or God. I shall also be able to spend less time chatting to people's parents- who will stop thinking I'm rather sweet and just think I'm extremely shallow. Superb. Remind me of that, if you EVER see me in the kitchen at parties. I should be in the garden having nice shallow chats.
The best thing about the whole weekend was seeing the in-laws (not because the party was terrible, you understand). We had lunch with them. Regular readers will know for how long my father-in-law has been in and out of Intensive Care. It has been nine months or so since I have seen him enjoy a meal (and not throw it up). Yesterday, he emerged from the car (admittedly slowly) and said. "Right, I'm starving" and ate a three course meal, and most of his daughter's roast beef and drunk several glasses of wine. He was also back "with us". Last time we had dinner together it was as if he wasn't quite on the same planet. I've been cheered by that all day. I was so pleased I had to text my parents over dinner (v bad form, but I was SO thrilled). Thank you Lord...
The cat is back too. Little minx. I don't know whether to kill him or cuddle him - you'll be relieved to know I went for the latter this morning.