Categories: uncategorized
Date: 17 November 2004 12:44:38
This morning's bible reading was the Matthew description of the Garden of Gethsemane, prefaced in my cheery notes by the phrase "how does it feel to be totally alone?". I've read it tons of times before, but this morning I found it especially moving.
Scripture Union's point from the reading was that sometimes there are times in your Christian walk when all your friends fall away and are unable to support you, but it also made me think about the position of the disciples. One minute, there they are swearing undying support to Jesus, and the next they can't even stay awake.
I can be a bit like that - really want to encourage people and all of that, but the next minute I've mucked it up really badly - forgotten an important date, appointment or something else. It's very easy to leave someone totally alone when they absolutely need not to be. Jesus made it as easy as it could be for Peter and the sons of Zebedee to support him - he asked for help. Often people don't even do that - and it can be such a big effort if they do that letting them down is the most terrible thing you can do as a friend.
On the other hand, I worry about going over the top in being supportive - I'm sure constant concern can drive people mad. But in my constant overintrospection, the other day i reread a very famous Stevie Smith poem, which you all know - but I'm going to blog it anyway.
Nobody heard him, the dead man
But still he lay moaning
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving, but drowning.
Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he's dead.
It must have been too cold for him, his heart gave way
They said.
oh, no, no, no it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving, but drowning.
I'm sure I've got all the lines mixed up there, but it did at least remind me of why it's always worth bothering and checking up on people. I'd rather they thought I was a bluebottle-style complete nuisance than drowned quietly on their own.