Categories: uncategorized
Date: 24 November 2004 11:34:57
(with apologies to those who find them really uplifting places)
THE woman in front of me in the queue is humming odd 'harmonies' to the piped worship Muzac on the stereo. The man behind me is buying some of the most hideous Christmas cards I have ever seen - and is worried that his wife won't like them (she won't, at a guess) - and we are all doing that polite "christian grimace" thing where you wouldn't really want to talk to them if they were at a party, but since we've all been "outed" as brothers and sisters in Christ we have to be nice to each other.
I REALLY dislike the Christian bookshop. Our local one near work is very big and I only go there when I absolutely have to. Anyone who has ever seen the Father Ted Christmas special, where all the priests get lost in the M&S underwear department will be able to understand my feelings of panic as I dodge between the 'Christian Counselling' section (how on earth did I end up there?) and the deluxe cushioned bible carriers department (why does my bible need a cushion?).
I'm only looking for my bible reading notes, but somehow I've got entirely lost. I find myself perusing the worship CDs - do I really need a new 'urban worship' album - will that be the one thing that finally makes me into one of those great christians who just radiates joy instead of a vague weariness. Probably not.
My husband said to me this morning that one of the interesting things about Christian bookshops is that they are one of the places where we are all still forced to be ecumenical. Things I would agree with wholeheartedly jostle side-by-side with books on prosperity theology, which would probably make me weep if I read them. Maybe that's why I hate them so much - they take me out of my comfort zone and remind me that hundreds of thousands of people who profess the same gospel also believe a whole load of stuff that I believe causes whole shedloads of hurt. So maybe it is my fault, and not the bookshop's?
But then- just as I was thinking this rare rational thought, I remembered the "prayer buddy" teddy bears I saw at the checkout. They were particularly horrible teddy bears that were supposed to demonstrate "different aspects of prayer". Their paws were velcroed together. That appeared to be the only thing that differentiated them from ordinary horrible teddy bears. Of course, they were also more expensive than ordinary teddy bears. Bizarre.
Christian bookshops. Love them or loathe them, you can't ignore them. Unless you order your bible notes from the internet, that is. I think I may have found a cunning plan.