Categories: uncategorized
Date: 29 November 2004 12:29:50
Yesterday morning, I was asked to help lead the musical worship bit of the service by singing. Usually I play keyboard, which is technically loads more difficult, but not quite as visible. I was there on time to rehearse as usual, but somehow I just... didn't feel like it.
You know, it's somehow alright to stand in the congregation singing "I love to be with you Jesus/ Listening to your voice/ And when I hear you speak my name/ My heart and soul rejoice" without really thinking about it - but up the front, where everyone can see you? Is it alright to adopt a vaguely devotional air and hope for the best?
I seriously thought about chickening out yesterday, but in the end I reasoned that it's important to still worship God even when you don't feel like it - so I gritted my teeth and did my best (didn't help that it was freezing cold and I'd had next to no sleep). Random thoughts kept flitting through my head such as "I'm focussing awfully closely on this microphone - have I become cross-eyed?".
I bet that doesn't happen at Hillsongs. They always look like they're really on fire all the time. Do they take the day off on those rare occasions when they aren't? Maybe they never wonder about whether they are going cross-eyed. I don't know.
At the moment, I feel as if I've got a lot to say thank you for, a lot to ask for and a lot to pray about. But I'm not finding it easy to do. It's been a knackering few weeks - all ways round. Perhaps that's all it is. Did I do the right thing by not chickening out yesterday morning?