Categories: uncategorized
Date: 04 January 2005 14:37:35
My music teacher at school used to have a poster (the sort I hate, with a picture of a kitten on it) and it said "the smallest good deed is greater than the grandest good intention". You can tell how much attention I paid in music lessons by the fact that this is still indelibly printed on my brain while I can't remember the difference between an Indonesian Gamelan Orchestra and an Alpine Horn.
But I've been thinking about my intentions this week. i think, if i had a New Year's Resolution (aside of spending one night IN a week with my husband) it would be that I started doing things for the right reason. Sometimes I'm very conscious that people think I'm being nice when I'm not - I'm doing the right thing because I know I'll feel bad if I don't or better if I do, or I want people to think I'm a nice person. There's very little I do that isn't tinged with this aura of pure selfishness - and I wonder if this invalidates the fact that I do things at all. I think of the Pharisee who prays on the street corner and has "already received his reward in full". But then - maybe none of my intentions will be entirely perfect until I get to heaven- I'm far too much of a mixture of a little bit of good and a lot of very very bad right now.
In other news - we'[ve finally tiled the kitchen. I've decided that grout is a fantastic word and shall be using it more often in very inappropriate situations.