Categories: uncategorized
Date: 26 January 2005 11:29:15
Last night I found myself spooning tepid risotto into my mouth whilst sitting in bed at midnight. I get the feeling this can't go on. Feel a bit like Bridget Jones, except that a) my poor and dear husband was trying frantically to sleep next to me and b) he had also made the risotto (it was lovely, by the way, darling, but I think I should have left it in the microwave for longer) . So not only am i a bit of a dirty stop out, I am as far from the good wife from Proverbs as it is possible to be.
I'd had a miserable evening dealing with a friend whose situation often seems unbearable... he's a real example of how God's Grace can get you through seemingly the most appalling things, but like all of us he has ups and downs. This was one of the downs - and when he said "what if this IS what the rest of my life will be like?" I was suddenly lost for words. Do I say that I really believe it won't be (and I DO really believe that) or is it wrong to let him 'get his hopes up' as my mother would call it?
There's a bleak, but quite funny poem by AE Housman, which contains the verse
"The thoughts of others were light and fleeting
Of lovers meeting, or luck, or fame
Mine were of trouble, and mine were steady
So I was ready, when trouble came."
I guess there is not actually all that much point being "ready when trouble comes" because it is always the trouble you don't expect that comes anyway and you can't prepare for that. And if you try, you end up living your life as a real Eeyore. On the other hand, though, I don't know how anyone lives with what he has to , and if just plodding along is the only way he can get through it, who am I to complain? We prayed together, which was good (and a first - I have NEVER heard him pray out loud before)., but I still left feeling that I have bitten off more than I can chew. If I continue this metaphor, it is going to get very, very unpleasant, since I know that I can't bite off more than God can chew, but there is clearly going to have to be some regurgitation metaphor involved with this... so I'd better stop, but you get the picture.
Anyway, I woke up this morning and the sun was shining...and I suddenly felt that all the burdens that have been placed on me (mainly by myself, I'm sure) had been lifted from my back. I put some happy songs on my iPod and skipped to work, admiring the view across London Bridge. After all, there's no point in me being "ready when trouble comes" as well.