Best church quote ever

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Date: 26 November 2007 09:47:18

Do not be afraid, please stand for the offertory hymn

I looked round, wondering what on earth they were going to do to us to extract our cash. Were the collection plate holders issued with cattle prods? Would we be turned upside down and shaken? Were they going to keep playing Graham Kendrick songs until the required amount was reached? Who knew?

It transpired that we were actually going to sing 'Do not be afraid, for I have redeemed you'. That was not, however, the impression I was left with.