Categories: uncategorized
Date: 25 July 2006 09:15:07
Task: planing a bedroom door
1. Do not start job 1 hour before going for a birthday lunch with wife
2. Do not attempt to plane the door with a blunt plane or a file-thing that works like a cheesegrater
3. When you've run out of time, do not fit door back on hinges when it obviously isn't planed enough, resulting in herculean efforts when opening the door for the next couple of days. When fitting door back on hinges, do not use flat head screw that you'll never be able to get out ever again.
4. After a couple of days, do not re-attempt to use the cheesegrater when it didn't work properly the first time.
5. Don't give up and go to Homebase, hoping that they will cut you a new door to size. They won't. Neither will anyone else.
6. DO go and buy an electric planer. They actually do something.
7. Do use electric planer, although remember to remove hamsters from room before doing so.
8. Do fit door back on hinges once it's planed.
9. Don't fit door back on the wrong set of screw holes, and wonder why it won't close. Do fit it on the right set of screw holes.
10. Do re-fit the handle and the handle cassette thingy.
11. DO CHECK THAT THE HANDLE AND LATCH WORK BEFORE CLOSING THE DOOR
12. If you have failed to do no. 11, DO NOT SHUT THE DOOR TO SEE IF IT WORKS, closing yourself out of the bedroom in the process.
13. Do not abandon all dignity by running at the door in a comedy attempt to break in to bedroom.
14. Do call locksmith. Well, I hope that's what you do, because I haven't done it yet.
15. If you do all the above, make sure that you have one set of clothes the right side of the bedroom door.