Categories: uncategorized
Date: 04 March 2005 13:21:23
The Greasy Pole has thus far kept clear of the subject of the Government's new anti-terror laws. But today I feel moved to write. The fine efforts of our government to overturn 800 years of legal reasoning and civil rights are floundering due to a lack of support. The Greasy Pole will provide that support.
The BFG, who now has a day-job as Home Secretary, has used his little pipe-blower to blow in to the House of Commons some sweet legislation. It will make us all sleep better at night by making sure that terrorists, or anyone who looks like one, is locked up in their house (or made to stay at home, as I prefer to think of it). How reasonable and kind! Even if they only look like a terrorist, and aren't one really, it's not like they're coming to any harm. They can still curl up with a book, or watch the telly with a mug of cocoa. And the rest of us can know that no one out there is trying to blow us up.
Quite sensibly as well, he was trying to make sure that politicians got to say who should get to stay at home. After all, politicians represent you and me, don't they, so it makes sense that they should decide who might be a threat to you and me. Only some people thought that judges should do this, so the BFG graciously agreed to it.
Unfortunately that put the civil servants in a pickle, because they weren't able to make the changes to the legislation in time for the House of Lords to debate it today. I'm glad they didn't rush themselves. Civil servants have lives too, and it's not like it's all that important.
What I can't believe is that no one wants this law. I haven't seen a political columnist, MP (other than government ministers), judge, legal expert or human rights representative say they want it. People say they're very worried about human rights problems. What I want to say is ‘Don't forget that every problem is also an opportunity!'
Pause to think about the opportunities. If all of a sudden you can stop people who you think might be criminals from going out of the house, that opens so many doors. Why, we'd be able to stop people who had ever committed a crime from going out for starters, and that would make things a lot safer. And those annoying neighbours, and ... Well, the list is as long as the BFG wants to make it.
Better still, there would hardly be a need for most prisons, because people would be shut up anyway in the comfort of their own homes before they'd even committed a crime. So no barristers would be needed, and the judges could soon follow the way of the dodo too. And that jury service you curse having to do - no more! Think of all the savings to our purse for not having to pay for all of this.
Let's not miss this great opportunity by only looking at the negatives. Back the BFG!