Categories: uncategorized
Date: 02 April 2003 23:00:00
The International Pro-Celebrity Ker-Plunk Championships ended in chaos yesterday after the Iraqi team was disqualified for unlawful use of straws.
Suspicions had been raised during the qualifying round when, in a match against the Solomon Islands and an unofficial Kuristani team, the Iraqis launched a gas attack on the Kurds through the hole at the top of the big plastic tube. At the time the Umpires ignored the Kurdish complaint, saying it was done by the Iranians who were playing at the next table against San Marino.
However, without explanation, the Umpires decided that it was the Iraqis after all, and declared the fall-tray to be a No-Marble Zone. As a result, the Kurds were given a berth in the finals as compensation, but were told to sit at the back and say nothing, and especially not to disturb the Turkish players.
Things came to a head when the Iraqis were spotted inserting straws into one of the Kurdish representatives and, in an escalation of matters, threatened to use Scud missiles in next month's Monopoly Finals.
The Umpires attempted to settle matters, but being unable to do so, decided to bomb the Iraqis into the Stone Age instead.
Next week's Scrabblathonn (which was due to be held in Baghdad) is now in doubt.