Categories: travels
Date: 17 August 2007 14:38:32
1) Goths happen. Incidents of goths can occur anywhere: Liverpool; New York; Bangkok; Cairo; Beijing. They can appear in the most unlikely of circumstances, inprobably attired and waiting to scowl in your direction. I have often wondered what happens as Goths get older. Do they lose their essential Gothiness and morph slowly and respectably into bank managers and accountants?
2) Someone will snore. In any given dorm in a Youth Hostel filled with N* backpackers (*where N is any number of entities called Serge, Ilyana, Sean, Nico or Dwight (invariably Dwight comes from Illinois and has a neck like a roast ham, he is a jock)) one person will make the whole room shake with their sonorous snore. It will sound like blue whales echolocating and it will keep YOU awake.
3) If you are travelling alone you will stop for lunch in a pavement cafe. The cafe will have red and white checked table clothes and umbrellas poking though the tables. The cute waitress (or waiter if you are a girl traveller) will take a shine to you and one beer with your lunch becomes three. This will make you slightly tipsy. You will spend the whole afternoon working up the courage to say to the cute waitress "You are better than these thugs, these dregs of humanity that you are forced to serve. Run away with me, we will live in motels". You end up fantasising about the life you will lead with the cute waitress, about how she will get a job as a nightclub singer and you will earn money through some petty crime, maybe minor drug dealing. The motel you live in will have a small swimming pool in the centre of a courtyard filled with unswept leaves . Eventually one of you will upset the local mobster and you will have to tearfully part ways and your love will be doomed to tragedy. But instead your courage fails you and you leave the cafe without asking her...but as you pay the bill you give her a smile that you hope says everything that you couldn't say out loud...
4) Everywhere you go plays dire Euro-pop or techno on a beat-up stereo system.