10 Ways in which my bar job could be made slightly more fun*

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 05 August 2005 10:55:54

1) Replace the grumpy old men...with the aliens from the star wars cantina.

2) Replace the alcohol with Ritalin.

3) Replace the managers with androids (they'd probably have more empathy than the mindless automata we currently have - Apologies if any of you are reading this)

4) Give us better uniforms

5) Pump marijuna through the air vents so that everyone (staff and customers alike) is calm and peaceful.
Incidently, have you ever noticed how alcohol makes people surly and belligerent, but it's still legal? Weird eh?

6) Give the staff cattle prods to remove the surly and belligerent customers at the end of the night.

7) Music

8) More wildlife in the pub (I only mention this because I met someone a few weeks ago who makes artifical badgers sets).

9) Make the customers say "please" and "thank you" before we are allowed to serve them.

10) GIVE US BACK OUR TIPS.

*N.B. For the purposes of this blog entry I define "fun" as anything which might actually make me want to do my job