Greenbelt 2007 Part 2

Date: 11 September 2007 11:16:13

Greenbelt 2007 Part 2 - stunning.

I promised a few more thoughts, a while ago, but with the move and everything going manic its taken a while. Plus every time I sit down to write about this, the words never seem to come, and I find myself debating what I actually want to write, and how to get it into type.

I had gone to GB 07 with relaxation being the plan. I was desperate for some time out. For some space. For something other than stress, sadness, and general crap. I knew I would have to take it easy, and as we arrived, and I knew I was missing the first thing I had planned to go to, I thought sod it. No offense to the lovely people I wanted to catch up with. But we were stuck in a Q. Needed our tents up before dark, and well hey, the people I needed to see, I would do in the course of the weekend. So I stopped stressing, and didn't stress for the entire weekend. It set my weekend up perfectly to be one of coffee, chat and chilling.

I don't think I had gone with an expectation of receiving from God either to be honest. I don't think I had gone with an expectation of much other than forcing myself to take it easy, which in the end didn't really need forcing, and I enjoyed it!

Anyway, on the Saturday there was some called "Communion by Number - the road to Emmaus" by the Grace Community who meet in Ealing, London. Since being in London, I have been meaningn to go to one of their get togethers, and know people who do, and stuff. Anyway, being in touch with the guy leading the service through flickr made me think I might head to it, while at Greenbelt. Didn't really know what to expect.

The sun was out, and it was hot. The hottest day of the weekend, there was no give up in the scorching sun. As I headed to the arena where the service was taking place, there were lots and lots of wonderful multicoloured windmills

grace windmill

anyway, there were lots, and lots, scattered all around the field, and most of them were spinning, there was a gentle breeze making them move. I actually was quite captivated by them. There were not huge crowds in the field, but still the site of all these windmills. Strange moving.

As I went into the field, people were in groups of 6 to 8, around a windmill, and being on my own it was my job to announce my self in a group. I almost didnt, and left, but in the end thought how silly if i missed out because I wouldnt join a group. So I did. And they were lovely. I just joined them, and sat.

The service began, and using the big screen, and numbers to represent the journey the first thing we did was reflect on our road over the last year. We then had a minute to simply share it with the person next to us. Being on my own, with a total stranger for me meant I could be totally honest. I could reflect on the road I have been over the last year and verbalise it with someone, who didnt pry or nose, but just accepted. I listened to her road too.

The service then went on, very simply, and we got on to confession. I was nominated leader for this part, and it was me who had to read these words

"before God, with the people of God, I confess to my brokeness, to the ways I wound my life, and the lives of others and the life of the world"

the group then replied with,

"may God forgive you, Christ Renew you, and the spirit enable you to grow in love"

then it was reversed. so the group said it to me, and i replied to them.

it choked me. While i was saying my bit, I had to stop myself from getting teary eyed.

I dont know what came over me, or I guess I do, but wasnt expecting it. In the middle of a field with random strangers, the sun beating down, coloured windmills floating, to have a God moment. To have a moment of completely feeling broken and empty. To reflect on the last year of life, and how that has got me to this point. But as soon as the brokeness came, it went, and replaced was a hope. Sitting in this beautiful field, with some lovely people, with Gods creation all around, you could see the hills, you could see and feel the sun, the people walking by, everything, i dont know, i just felt loved, and felt hope, in a way i dont think i can explain, but just felt.

This is before the communion part of the service began, and so I think that has to be Part 3, so this is going to be an installment story ...