A Pause In Lent 3

Categories: god-related-stuff, a-pause-in-lent

Date: 27 March 2011 09:10:00

So here we are again. Pausing. Thinking. Wondering what insights I have. And deciding it's very few at the moment. Sorry. I'm feeling as though I shouldn't really be doing this. I feel a bit of a fraud: I'm not thinking about God in any real way at the moment, and Lent has actually made no impact on my life, spiritual or otherwise. I've not given up anything, I've not taken on anything (except this!). I feel a vague sense of guilt - but only very vague - but also a vague sense of not caring. I think I'm going through A Gloomy Sunday Afternoon Of The Soul (I can't call it a Dark Night Of the Soul, as that title gives it more importance than it has.) So. Maybe in my spiritual growth I'm going through through those difficult teenage years, where all they seem to want to do is mope about and sleep. They're not interested in their parents, they heave great sighs of ennui and teenage anguish, they drift about not doing anything, and get grumpy if their parents suggest they might be wasting their life. But every now and then they deign to join in with a family occasion, and can suddenly be quite charming.

I hope that my Father in Heaven will stay steadfast to me. If earthly parents can manage to love their difficult teenagers through these years, then I'm fairly sure God will be able to love me as I drift and mope and sigh. And I hope that I will finally come through the teenage Spiritual years a more rounded being. I was lucky enough to have a wonderful father. He died far too young of cancer, but I have fond memories of a dad who loved and cared for his three children. There were rarely rows and arguments in our household (except possibly between me and my brother!) and I remember many many happy occasions. I don't think I was a difficult teenager (although mum may disagree with that!) but I certainly did my fair share of moping, and staying shut up in my bedroom, but I never had a sense of my parents losing faith in me. Thanks to both my parents, I believe I've grown into a fairly well-rounded, reasonably feet-on-the-ground person. (although Mr D may disgree with that!) So here is a poem, dedicated particularly to Dad, but also to Mum, who has spent too many years than she should have done without her Helpmeet at her side. I love you both. A meditation on Psalm 37, verses 23 & 24 The steps of a man are established by the Lord,and he delights in his way.When he falls he shall not be hurled headlong because the Lord is the one who holds his hand Father, You know the way you want us to go; Planned and perfect, Complete and right. You take us by the hand As a father takes his child, and you delight in teaching us. You show us your glories, You teach us your way, and you share your love with us. But, as children often do, we will slip our hand from your loving guiding grip, and wander on a path that is not yours. We are tempted away from you by the glitter and gaudiness of the world. We ignore your warning cries and we fail so many times to listen to your voice. You do not force us. You do not pull us. You do not leave us. Instead you watch for us, you wait for us, you love us. And,as a child who does not hold his father’s hand has no protection when he falls, so too do we have nothing to save us when we fall. But as we lie, battered and bruised by life, and crying for help, you are there there to pick us up, to hold us in your arms, and to tell us that you love us And maybe next time we will have learned, learned to hold your hand a little tighter, learned to follow your ways a little closer. For if we walk with you and hold your hand We know that we are safe, and that you will not allow us to fall.