Categories: uncategorized
Date: 18 June 2006 18:26:36
The other day I was accused of having become more cynical by a colleague of mine. I deflected this assertion, saying that they simply knew the 'real me' by now.
But it did get me thinking.
Having been a cynic, and proud of it, in my earlier years, I was glad to lose that mantle on finding faith. However, I do tend to get a little disillusioned with the way the world works. However, I would say that this wake-up call is often the result of expecting much more from people than they are able, or inclined, to deliver.
I like to look for the best in all, and seek to be the best I can be. The reality is, people often fall short of expectations, this includes myself (naturally), and disappointment ensues. Enough of this kind of thing finally results in the re-emergence of my cynicism. No-one is righteous, not even one - a tenet which is true, but sticks in the throat of an idealist.
Only Husband, on the other hand, has a much more balanced view. He seeks the best in people, but is not surprised or disappointed when they do not come up with the goods. A much healthier attitude. In fact, when I perceive that I have failed him, I punish myself much more severely than he would ever do. He makes allowances for my weaknesses, and those of others, with the assertion that we are 'only human'. As a result, he is much more lenient on himself, too.
What is it that makes me so unforgiving?