Categories: uncategorized
Date: 19 August 2006 09:06:47
...in my bedroom.
The other night, there was a HUGE thunderstorm. As a result, a couple of unusual things happened in the life of Dith. Unusual thing no 1 was the fact that it actually woke me up. I usually sleep right through, I reckon I could sleep through the end of the world. Not so much sleeping like a log as a long submurged coal seam! The other thing, which surprised me even more, was that a couple of thunderclaps actually scared me - to the point of making me jump.
Those of you who are normally fearful of thunderstorms are probably thinking, 'Duh!' at this moment. However, I have never, in my life, been frightened of storms before. I still remember an incident as a kid when Mum let my sis and I stay up thru a thunderstorm one night so that we would not be afraid. I was playing contentedly and occasionally watching the lightening out of the window. Since that first memory, fascination is the word that best descibes my usual attitude to thunderstorms. That is why this seems so strange to me.
Phobias are another thing that I am blissfully free from. I find snakes and the like strangely beautiful and, as for spiders, I have been the Spider-removing Stupendous Dith on a number of occasions. Those who know me are now probably saying 'What about the mould thing then, eh?' Yes, I do have an inordinate reaction to mould and the like, but I would describe it much more in terms of disgust than fear.
My reaction to the storm, then, and a recent discussion on phobias has really got me thinking about the whole matter of fear. It may seem from my statements to this point that I am not often afraid. Hahaha! How wrong can you be? However, I am afraid of much more abstract things. I am afraid of disapproval, ridicule, rejection, failure and the like. Not unusual, I s'pose. The thing is, sometimes this can take hold to an almost delibilitaing degree. I ask myself, if I jumped more at thunderclaps and had a healthier sense of self-preservation when it comes to, say, the potential of falling of a horse then p'raps I would not be so afraid of people poking fun at me.
Maybe I'll never know...
Btw, what scares you guys? I'd be interested to know.