Categories: uncategorized
Date: 27 December 2004 12:00:24
Funny thing to say I guess, when today was a public holiday, but for me the time off doesn't start till next week.
We had the first night of "our big thing" tonight which is like the Curate's Thing, but a bit different.
I am thinking I am not really a fan of "big things" as a rule. This is probably largely due to my introverted nature which means 2000 plus crowds suck the very life out of me.
It could be that I'm actually a closet heathen.. I haven't worked out which yet.
I look at this sea of people with their hands in the air and rapt faces and think there is something wrong with me because I am wishing I could go home... a feeling which comes with it's own special brand of guilt... and frustration... and questions.... like "Is there something wrong with me?"
There are times when I get a glimpse, when tears well up and I know that God is speaking to me, bearing with me, and better loving on me.
But I can't turn it on for the crowds...
And actually?
If it's ok with God?
It's ok with me.