Categories: uncategorized
Date: 13 January 2005 13:14:23
Tez came over.
Grrr, Gah, Bah...
Sigh.
The truth is, I just don't get it. Why, when we connect the way we seem to, is there no prospect of making our relationship more than just mates?
Now, I am not spending every waking minute dreaming about him, wondering what he is doing, wishing he were here but when we are together it seems like the most simple and natural thing in the world and I just wish we could do it more than once every couple of months.
I have known him for 6 years, and every so often it appears as if maybe, just maybe, he might have been making a move in my direction.
But nothing.
So we talked this evening of the hardships of the last year (mine), the faith journey we have been on, the awkward place he is in now and under it all was the ... "Get over here and grab me" subliminal messge (well, at least it is what I tried to transmit).
He was not receiving...
And all the while we talked about real life and real relationships and our desire not to be singular much longer. It comes about so naturally, both of us talking about our latest dating escapades, wondering about who might be around the corner and neither of us said..
"Well?"
I can't decide if he really becomes attractive because, beside Surf, he is the only guy I actually have meaningful conversation with. This was definitely a sadly lacking area in my world until Surf and Tez came along... So, I wonder if the deal is mine and if I should be really getting into the "men and women can be GREAT friends" theory instead of the "men and women cannot be just friends ... under any circumstances" assumed fact...
Actually, there is a big part of me that secretly subscribes to the "He's Just Not That Into You" theory. It would explain the lack of action. But be that as it may, please don't tell me to grab him and pash (snog, french) him senseless. I don't want to be ruining the only concrete avenues I have of great interaction with the opposite sex even if they are only "no funny business" ones.