Categories: uncategorized
Date: 21 November 2005 20:45:30
...an expert when it comes to clothes shopping, though I've improved a lot over the last few years. In part this is due to being red/green colour-blind. Not that I buy red/green clothes too often, or at least I don't think I do... Anyway, the main rule I go by when purchasing new attire is P.P.W. "P.P.W.?", I hear you ask, yes, don't you watch Trinny and Susannah? Price Per Wear! It works like this: A£90 jacket is cheaper than a £50 jacket if you wear it twice as much or more. An £80 pair of shoes worn 800 times are cheaper than a £40 pair worn 100 times. A £15 pair of boxer shorts...oh you get the idea. So there I am milling about in Bristol when I notice there's a 25% off sale at Debenhams. Now the last time I went in Debenhams I was about 8 years old and the scars inflicted on me by the sight of so many late 70's zip-up tartan bootie slippers, not to mention the amount of nylon generated static in the place making me look like I had a Van der Graff Generator* firmly attached to some part of my anatomy, took years to heal. Well, haven't things changed! 20 minutes later (some kind of record for me!) I'm making for the exit with some spangly new trousers. I'll wear them to that Jazz Cafe / Bar / Restaurant (which was very good by the way, recommend the Thai Green Chilli, not just vegetarian, but totally vegan!) on saturday night. So I wear them around for a couple of days to give us a chance to get to become familiar. Saturday, in the washing machine. The trousers, not me. Foggy and very cold out, never dry on the line, dryer on warp speed and...........
..........power cut. The whole town. Dryer door won't open without power. Scramble around with a small and very inadequate torch for suitable replacement trousers, which, of course, don't exist. Go to Jazz cafe wearing a pair of Harry Hill's cast-offs. Get home 1am to see that my new trousers have been liberated from the device of rapid dryingness but have sustained fatal injuries....read care instructions label.....D'OH! P.P.W. of £16.25. D'OH! D'OH! D'OH!
* Not the '70's experimental rock/pop(?) band.