Categories: uncategorized
Date: 04 September 2007 21:12:34
Yesterday I was on my daily stroll, pipe in hand, labrador at heel, tweed jacket over arm, basking in the late summer evening sun when I had a confrontation with the forces of nature fully unleashed, for I came into contact (almost) with the biggest, baddest, scariest, salivating-hyena-beast-thingy-of-a-devil-dog in existence. I am proud to say I confronted the situation full on. I rose to my full height, looked the beast in the eye as it jumped over the wall towards me - it's teeth flashing and snarling - and ran like crazy. Linford Christie, Carl Lewis, I spit in your general direction! I did in fact used to do 100m/200m/400m as a teenager and some of it has stayed with me or else I think I'd be a right mess, a dogs dinner in fact, literally. And then this evening I was on my stroll, pipe in hand, etc....and I notice that there's a blokey lives up the road who is a council dog warden, or so the writing on his van says. Baldrick....I have a cunning plan......
Looked in my wallet the other day and found a gift certificate for a local spa which I received for my birthday last year, fab! This Thursday I will be sauna'd, steamed, plunge-pooled and jacuzzi'd to within an inch of my life. I'm also going to spend an hour in a floatation tank. Never done any sensory deprivation thing before as I generally don't watch golf or snooker on telly. I'll report back with any major epiphanies.
Was in Swindon today, the south-west capital of post-modern nihilism. Overheard within seconds of each other in the shopping precinct:
Girl 1: "I live for K.F.C."
Girl 2: "I'm depressed."
It would seem 1+1 really does = 2.
I was in Yeovil the other day so I stopped at the athletics track. Obviously. I had reasons though. As mentioned, when I were a wee lad I ran 100m/200m/400m+hurdles and did long-jump and triple-jump for Trowbridge Athletics Club. Anyway, very often during the summer months we'd have competitive league meetings at Yeovil. 16 years since I last went there and it's exactly the same. Happy memories of running my first 400m hurdles there, clattering the last barrier, nearly throwing up with exhaustion at the end and waking up the next morning with a bruise the size of Wales on my knee. Perversely (see above), I think Swindon was my favourite track to run on. Remind me to tell you about the time I won five events in one day sometime... Happy days.
P.S. I don't really have a tweed jacket. Or pipe. Or labrador.