Categories: uncategorized
Date: 08 June 2005 21:29:44
....a whole new world of comedy. My adventure began at about 10:30 the other night. I often listen to Andy Kershaw or Fiona Talkington on good old BBC 3 (...broadcasting to the mainland and the colonies) before making any serious commitments towards sleep, this particular evening though, my radio was rather fuzzy, being as I am in a state of pre-digital analogdom. Whilst twiddling its various knobs I chanced upon a late night phone-in on a local station. Managing to overcome my voyeuristic twinges by telling myself that I was engaging in "social research", I stayed. The average call went something like this.
Presenter: "Next on the line is Tina from Taunton...hello Tina?"
Caller: "um....good...um...ev....Hi, I'm Tina."
P: "Hi Tina, what did you want to talk about?"
C: "....well....I've....er....I've been...er....feeling a bit depressed lately?"
P: "Right, what's brought that on?"
C: "Well...er...I don't...um...know really."
P: "Ok, well, what's been going on in your life lately?"
C: "Well...er...I don't...um...know really."
P: "Relationship troubles?"
C: "Well...er...I don't...um...know really."
P: "Trouble at work?"
C: "Well...er...I don't...um...know really."
P: "Problems at home?"
C: "Well...er...I don't...um...know really."
P: "Health problems?"
C: "Well...er...I don't...um...know really."
P: "Perhaps there is maybe a drink or drug issue perhaps?"
C: "Well...er...I don't...um...know really."
P: "Ok Tina, maybe it would be easier if you were to tell me what the problem is?"
C: "Well...er...I don't...um...know really. Been feeling depressed like...."
P: "Ok, that's Tina from Taunton. Our next caller is Tarqui...."
C: "Well, the problem is I've made a really big fool of myself with my best friend, y'see I've really fancied her for ages and we were coming home the other night...late like....and I tried to snog her in the bus station and now I've gone and lost my bus-pass so I can't get to work and they've sacked me and she's got a boyfriend and I don't know what to do."
Extra comedy value is added by the fact that all calls are recieved and answered in a generic one-size-fits-all Wiltshire / Somerset / Devon accent. I'm hoping my sides will stop aching by the weekend.