Categories: uncategorized
Date: 24 May 2007 22:43:44
basically that's how the past few days have been full.
I'd forgotten how a small amount of overtime can make me tip into tiredness cos I end up sleeping less. I've spent lovely ages chatting on skype. That social element, I know, would virtually kill me if I did a full time job. I simply am a part-timer at heart. No apologies to the brave and great out there who work a full 37h or more week, regularly. I like mooching at my own pace and taking my time. Work may be speedy stressy difficult stuff most of the time, but in between, no one should force me to stress unless it's an emergency. I need enough time to do the chilling out things well.
Last night was fab. The content of it may seem nothing special or a bit overdone, but the fact of it was incredible to me.
'Social care awards night' in a function room down at the football club. Nothing extraordinary. But, for 2 reasons at least, it was gold-dust! (though nowadays copper may be a better metal to pick!!)
Last summer I completed and received my certificate for my NVQ 3 in Health and Social Care (Children & Young People). It was a bit of a cinch compared to the old uni essays and reading etc, but some of you will know it means a lot.
For someone who got kicked out of uni for not doing her homework and for failing to finish an essay and then went on to not finish the next couple of courses I was coaxed into, the simple completion of my NVQ is a feat. So when I got this invite to last night's cheesy awards do, I sent Dad a text and asked him if he'd come and join me.
Well Dad likes football, and he not only said yes, but turned up and missed all but 2 minutes (I do not lie) of the match, to sit with me through 3 speaches and a roll call & certificate presentation of approx 100 people. I must've been 80th or so...
I enjoyed myself last night, partly because as far as pomp & circumstance, contrived sorts of things go, well, it was actually quite a good night, with a decent keynote speaker, and also partly because, in having my Dad all to myself for a couple of hours, knowing he'd have really liked to see the match meant I felt even more special and valued.
Back to Skype. I've spent a mad amount of time on Skype with Fabrice, which is incredible since it means we can talk and use the chat box if we want to be quiet, then we get distracted by music or whatever & go off on tangents when chatting, all without a bill.
Viva broadband!!
I do like this day and ages for a few things of this description.
Another thanks to skype means I've caught up with my cousin, which I've not properly done in ages. Msn's the usual place we catch up in dribs and drabs so hearing her voice and seeing her was lovely. We had a good natter (about an hour in total) and I met her other half, which was a bit weird and totally fab. So our natter included S sending her packing so I could write to S in the chat box and scheme for her birthday party. (BTW: 4 weeks til I go!!)
I'm fascinated by some of the things God's been doing in me the past few weeks, some He's made real which I'd either known and forgotten or always been aware of yet not quite understood.
He's also watching me pick up some pieces with which I never thought I'd be dealing. I'm finding His peace amongst it over and over though it makes not the blindest bit of sense.
I've always had a favourite name for God, that has resonated louder than the rest time and time and time again. It seems that even that single name of God truly has a thousand facets.
Once again Emmanuel stands with me in my step by step. He holds His hand out and says: "This is the way, walk in it, only don't mull over the fact it makes not the blindest bit of sense".
Emmanuel is the One who is with me,
the One who walks by me,
the One who holds me up and keeps me going,
the One who guides me on the mountains tops and in the valleys,
the One whom I trust, beyond all others, present or future, to look out for me and make sure that I will always get back up and that I rarely fall,
the One who truly knows who and where and how I am, understands me and still says "It's OK! Hope comes in the morning.".
Now, I'm watching my life change, my horizon be re-alligned, yet my north still draws me and makes me face to Hope, Faith and Love.... and the greatest of these is... Love.
I cannot Love well without the King of Love showing me the way, without Him first singing the tune and always singing me the tune, constantly so I can hum along and pass it on.
The song of love I sing is and remains the song of the King of Love, maybe that's why it sounds so good with so little effort.
I'm finding myself singing to Fabrice and he doesn't always know. Often even I don't know it. I can't explain it, so mostly I don't even try.
I sing to colleagues and our hurting kids at work. I'm glad to say, some there sing with me, and that is incredible. God knows our kids need a song of Love.
(The Father's Song)
My friend Ann (colleague) is still very poorly and in need of prayers for healing and hope and more. Please don't forget her when you spend time with Daddy...
It remains for me to ask that you lot join me in one more prayer:
that Guy would enter back into the Song I sing.
At the moment my love extends to many daily, big and small, near and far, but somehow I hit a wall with him, and I can virtually see the notes of what I would sing hit a wall and trickle down its glazed surface. And that's before he even gets to hear a sound, because right now, to him, I can barely sing.
And he's in such pain in all those places I dare not try reach him...
Such agonising pain...
But he won't cry out for help.
Someone recently lifted my heart and soul by telling me that I found them just in the nick ot time. I guess that deep down they thought it was too late, that hurt was too much and they may as well stop fighting it. I know too many people in that kind of place. Knowing how God can bring freedom makes it all the more frustrating.
Saving a life just in time, I feel like superman, except I can't do with those tights. I wish I could find Guy in that way, burrow and dig and delve and find him down in what ever depths he wallows.
I don't get why God can make it so incredibly easy for me to effectively stumble upon some treasures and endlessly meander in search of others. It seems unfair. I suppose perspective makes me lie about what is fair or not.
God knows his job much better than I. Bruce Almighty has that fact pinned to a t.
My oh my I need a neck massage! I blame it on the personal trainer. Who could be so daft... Oh me? Yeah. Sorry no sympathy from self... Serves me right for being that daft.
Still, I'm glad it's taken over 24h to properly hit me.
Oh bother. Sorry for writing yet another novel!
Well, a little bit sorry...
:P