Hmmm!!

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 09 June 2006 23:54:30

Well, I don't know whether I've truly had a good week or not.
I'm a bit stressed at home and all's good at work.Not been at work til today but had a team meeting on Monday and training on Weds which were good and went fine. Spent couple nights in Brum at a mate's and had a thouroughly good time while there. We went to Evesham Country Park yesterday. A treat. Specially as A looked after us the whole time. The weather has been amazing and, no real appologies to the odd-blooded-cold-lovers-(British) amongst you, I've been in my element, a bit slow but glad to be basking in the sun and soaking in the heat. God knows I need it.
But then there's Guy. He's struggling. Loads. And I not only don't understand but also I can't identify. I found this all the more obvious during some of our chats with A the last couple of days. She's been there and has shed a little light into the darkness of my blindness...
I've skirted the pit and flirted with the edges of it, I can't deny that. But I've never been there. I don't know what it's like. A's given me a little insight but Ihave to be honest: I just want to kick my little bro's butt and get him to snap out of it. That simply is not the solution but that's where I'm at 99% of the time.
I know Mom and Dad and I and so many others love him to bits. I know God loves him and looks after him and that as a consequence there in fact is nothing to fear but God himself whom he needn't fear since God loves him. I know that Jesus is in the pit of dark deathness with him and that he will not fall below where he can cope and that he will come back out. I know that God's healing and freedom is his.
None of that is real to him at the mo. I've told him and repeated to him as many of those things as poss and more. We read Psalms 139, 42, 23, and whatever else I can think of or comes to mind. I've spoken the truth out loud and I pray.
I've also been very short and sarcastic at times when I've not been able to cope. I've told him that he's making me feel stressed at times and that I am feeling pressure because of all this and that it is worrying me. I've asked him to make an effort to not listen to the crap thoughts and feelings and trust the truth.
I am more than out of my depth and God must truly know how much because work has gone uncannily quiet again after chaos that's taken place while I wasn't there... Oh yes God knows. Elohim!!! Emmanuel is arms round us even now, is God with us every moment, is all I really have when it's too late to call...
Still, there's the practicalities. The things I think need to sort out. The fact that I'm at work in the morning and that for the second time in 18months I am giving someone the phone number for work just in case. There's an hour ago when all got very stressy and I fought to contain me and forced myself to make a cuppa, cry help to God and gather love into my thoughts and feeling from the Source because i was getting all blinded by frustration at a silly mix-up which means Dad's just spent close to 9 hours waiting for us in a coach station when one and later the other of us 2 should have turned up...
What do I do but put my arms round him and say "I love you to bits"? What do I do but sit on the outside and call down and wait? What do I do?
I'm not kidding guys... I need to know. If you have any advice, I need it. Please.
Yours Pretty helpless just now,
xxx
Mm