Categories: uncategorized
Date: 26 September 2004 17:03:10
Son was refused the communion wine this morning - 'I don't think so - he's too wee'. OK, if instead of an invitation to 'all who love the Lord', they say 'all who love the Lord, and are aged - I don't know - over 6? - over 8?' Daughter was given some, and she's 7, so 'all who love the Lord, and are aged 7 or more' are welcome to his table. They like to trot out 'suffer the little children' (which sounds pretty gruesome to me) on occasion, but what do they really think?
Heading towards the opposite end of the age spectrum (pausing briefly to note that to-morrow is wife's birthday), in less than 6 months, I shall be 50. Seriously, it seems to me that now is the time to take stock. A chance to take a look at the big questions, and attempt some answers (not that I believe that I can answer the big questions, just that, I suppose, I would like to give my life some definition). By the time I reach 60, my options will have been radically reduced (if I get there at all, of course). It isn't likely that I shall take the opportunity (if it exists) to change strikingly the direction of my life, but if I don't consider things, then possibly I could feel dissatisfied, and wish that I had. There are decisions still to be taken. Do I try again next year for promotion at work (this past year, I was advised - not then, but maybe later)? Do we (terrible question) 'try' for a third child?
I upset wife this morning by singing 'I want to kill myself'. I can't help it. It's a habit of mine. In a way, I do. Paul (the apostle) said that he wanted to die, and be with Christ. This morning's Kidz Klub lesson was all about heaven, and how wonderful it's going to be. Life is continually trying to make ends meet, fiscally, emotionally, spiritually, physically. The news on the radio is always bad. Psalm 77:2 (from this morning's 'Encounter with God' reading) says:
Psalm 77:2 (MsgB)
I found myself in trouble and went looking for my Lord;
my life was an open wound that wouldn't heal.
When friends said, "Everything will turn out all right,"
I didn't believe a word they said.
The psalmist's answer (which the writer of notes admitted was an old one) is to look back at what God has done in the past. He created the Universe, didn't he (although the scientists don't seem to think so nowadays)? He helped us (Israel) when we were in trouble - but who do we identify with - the Israelis? - the Jews? - Christians? - or do we examine our own personal history - but is it always clear the occasions when God helped us? Don't get me wrong; I am grateful. I accept that there have been times in my life when, if you'd described to me where I am now, I simply wouldn't have believed you. God has helped me. It isn't the past I fear, it's the future.