Categories: uncategorized
Date: 11 July 2007 10:33:07
I'm not sure what is being achieved through my being at home. I was right, I believe, to make the appointment to see the doctor, and the only things she could offer were time off or pills. I'm pretty sure that pills wouldn't help, and would create a whole new set of problems. So, spending a few days away from the immediate pressures of work seems to be the only thing to be doing. But the solution (to the work aspects of my situation) is to be found at work, not here. In theory, I am spending this week relaxing, gaining a sense of perspective so that on my return I can get involved in some constructive discussions about finding a way forward. In practice, I know that time continues to march on - that any work I could have done this week, and which turns out to be still my responsibility, will just have to be done next week, pushing me if anything even further behind.
The University has a rule, as I understand it, that you can self-certificate for 4 days but that if the time off is contiguous with a week-end then the week-end is included. By my calculations, this means that it is impossible actually to take 4 days off. In this case, the University has shot itself in the foot - if I could have taken just a few days off, say, and gone back to work to-morrow, I would have done. But 3 days plus 2 days = 5 days > 4 days.
Meanwhile, of course, there is work to be done about the house and the garden. Karin suggests that gardening would be therapeutic. Unfortunately, this, I guess, is one of the areas I would perhaps need to explore if I ever do get time with a counsellor. It may be that I was put off gardening as a child. Our family moved when I was, I guess, 8 or 9, into a big house with a big garden. I suspect that the garden was too big for my parents to look after, and that they resorted to using their children as unpaid labour. So gardening, for me, always feels like something I do because I have to. History has, to some extent, repeated itself, as we now find ourselves with a big garden - marvellous to have space to run around in, but overwhelming when we think of what we need to do just to keep it in order, let alone do anything creative.
I have just enjoyed a few minutes cleaning around the sink. If, in our normal routine, I had time, I think that I would be very happy doing jobs like cleaning the kitchen and the bathroom. For a while, I used to spend an hour every Sunday morning cleaning the cooker. There was a real sense of achievement as, week by week, the grime was gradually removed. Nowadays, we don't have time.
People may be glad to know that my desk has returned to its usual state of untidiness. If I was on ordinary leave, I would be quite happy to be spending this week just tackling some of the tasks confronting me here. It doesn't seem right, however, to be technically off sick, and to be working on stuff at home.