Categories: uncategorized
Date: 04 November 2007 19:25:17
do most men understand that if a woman's needs are being met, his in turn will be met also? yet if she feels empty or taken for granted, he'll never be able to receive b/c she can't give?
Perhaps it was intended as a rhetorical question. I hope that Rain won't be disappointed if I find myself unable to give a simple answer; I can't speak for most men, anyway.
Trying to ensure that everybody's needs are being met - in a family of two adults and two children - but coping with the demands being placed on each member, from inside and outside - is an ongoing challenge. I believe that as Christians we are called to love others as we love ourselves - and I guess that in a relationship that means trying to make sure that the other person's needs are being met - but, of course, there is a danger, in an unbalanced relationship, of losing oneself in the perceived needs of the other person - I think that one has to be aware of one's own needs, and to have some idea of whether or not these are being met, and being prepared to take action if one is oneself being drained.
I would expect, in the early stages of a relationship, that each party is to some extent trying to impress the other, and will at least appear to be tending to the needs of the other party. If from the outset a man appears to be entering a relationship with only his own needs in mind, something is wrong; I wouldn't expect the woman to have much interest in furthering the relationship. But there is always the danger that one party may, essentially, be practising deceit - appearing to be interested in the needs of the other, but intending once the relationship is established to use the other to meet his (or her) own needs.
I agree, though; if a person is being drained, then sooner or later that person will have nothing more to give, with the result that both parties ultimately lose. I wish that I knew the answer, though. With the best will in the world, we can still find ourselves in a situation which is draining us, and to have few options before us - either we hold on, hoping that circumstances will improve - or, I suppose, we bail out ...
I keep coming back to - it's not that simple. I may do my utmost to ensure that my beloved's needs are being met, and she may repay me by taking all that she can get and giving nothing. I would hope that by nurturing my beloved, she will blossom, and her happiness will enrich me also.
I continue to hope and pray, Rain, that you will find somebody with whom you can enter into a relationship which meets both of your needs, and becomes still more - a place where love - God's love even - finds a home and grows - abundantly and overflowing ...