Demographics

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 05 November 2007 15:07:02

Happy birthday, tractorBlog, from someone who is no longer 20 something to 40 something, but who is one of those who have had to deal with depression at some point in our lives. For some reason, I want to write down here some indication of the extent of that depression, in my own case.

It all started when I left home to go to University; I suspect that it may have started earlier, but it got its name when I was hospitalised half way through my second year. Then, I would probably have wanted to echo something I have read since in 'The Valley of the Dolls' - roughly: I'm not sick, I'm just unhappy. Unfortunately, there was no route back to the interrupted University course; I eventually started again at a different University, and somehow managed to graduate with an Engineering degree.

It was part way through my attempted PhD that I crashed again. The treatment this time around was heavier - including ECT - which I am still not happy about. Other circumstances intervened, so that on my recovery I found myself at yet another University. I didn't finish the PhD, but it did become an MSc.

I found it difficult to get established in my work - to some extent a victim of the University's preference for short term contracts - and decided to say 'no' to the possibility of a contract for another few months, and instead to seek employment elsewhere. In this venture I was unsuccessful, and for a third time, found myself back in hospital. On this occasion, I was sectioned - which means that I was detained without my consent (although they didn't actually ask me). They very nearly gave me ECT again, but as I was about to be anaesthetised I punched out a window, desperately wanting, I guess, to escape.

There must be a pattern there ... I can only say that each time there was a descent and an ascent ... the ascent generally being slow and difficult.