EJ & Penny

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 16 June 2007 16:32:55

Well, here we are, a year after a serious car crash for my neighbor EJ.

And there continues to be pain and trouble in EJ's situation, which we didn't look for last year.

Someone with all those many injuries to muscle and bone and nerve will likely fight various types of pain all the rest of his life. They were prepared for that. EJ remained interested in physical activity and returning to work all this time, it kept him going. He gained back a healthy amount of weight, he moves darn well, walks, talks, is capable of all the yard work he used to do. Praise God for his recovery and health!

What they were not prepared for the the mental/emotional trouble.

The brain injuries were not nearly as bad as they could have been -- whatever longterm or permanent damage he ended up with is nothing, nothing compared to what could have happened, what "should" have happened in a wreck that spectacular.

The lesions were there, however, and apparently in some spots that have changed EJ.

He now has what the family describes as "psychotic episodes".

A while back he drove over to the police station twice in one day to yell at them and threaten them and take them to task because they were doing nothing about the people who are stalking him.

There's nobody stalking him.

He's had his driver's license taken away -- as well he should, if he's got uncontrolled dementia or psychoses or anything like that. But it's an awful blow to his pride and self-sufficiency, you know? And one medicine he takes renders him unable to do his beloved yard work 3/4 of the year, because he shouldn't be out sweating and stressing and straining, or he might have a stroke. Another blow.

One of the (adult, thank God) kids came home once and couldn't find EJ. Called Penny, which made her anxious, because he was supposed to be there and couldn't drive.

The boy went & had another look, and found EJ up a tall ladder around back, cleaning leaves from the gutters. He's got balance problems, he's not supposed to get all hot and sweaty, he shouldn't have been up there. Yet another blow to his pride when a kid has to talk you down a ladder like that.

They have tried 4 of the 5 available medicines that will do something for people in EJ's shoes, to no avail. This final medicine might do the trick -- they are not sure yet -- but if it fails there are no others to try.

And if it does succeed it will likely injure his heart, his liver, over time.

And there is also the possibility of it losing effectiveness over time, like maybe he'll develop a tolerance.

Penny told him the other day -- I guess she wanted him to know the truth, didn't want to humor him --

She told him that he will likely never return to work. Not to the shipyards he loved, anyway. He cried. That's rough, a big ol' tough guy, much like my husband, sobbing.

Things like that take him by surprise. The other day, for some reason, in conversation or maybe planning a family activity, their child that died a few years ago was mentioned.

EJ had forgotten he'd died. All he remembered was that they had this son, too. It was pretty much having to mourn his boy all over again, when they convinced him the son had died.

Penny has been a stay-at-home mom, doing the Proverbs 31 thing as so many of us do, making money here and there, working a "cash job" or running a business or selling handcrafts or whatever is our talent, but focused on home, you know?

Now at about my age she faces getting back out full time in the work force to support the family, to cover whatever gaps there are in disability benefits etc., and especially to find a job with health insurance benefits.

Their best guess, given this past year and what the doctors say, is that EJ has maybe another couple years where he can live at home and they can help him there.

After that, unless the Lord intervenes -- either with His own miraculous brand of healing or with the doctors' efforts -- they will likely have to put him in a home, because he will be a danger to himself and others, uncontrollable, and will not be able to be left alone at home.

Already Penny has asked us to keep his troubles in mind when we see him out and about.

EJ going for a brisk walk around the block = OK.

EJ walking unsteadily and unable to greet us and answer us well = call Penny, call the police, call somebody!

Poor man. Poor, poor man. God love him. God bless him.