Categories: uncategorized
Date: 03 January 2008 06:25:21
A young engaged person asked, "Is it sinful to think about sex when it's in the context of your approaching wedding night?"
To which I replied,
"Depends.
Oh, sorry, were you looking for a written-in-stone answer?
There is nothing wrong with the sweet anticipation of something that is supposed to be warm and joyful and pleasant and right.
On the other hand, now --
If you spent all day every day drooling over what you will get to do and what your spouse will get to do, to the point that it drives you into a closet to masturbate 12 times a day, and you lose your job because you are in your closet all day, and you give yourself carpal tunnel syndrome from all that... erm... fun... And then you have to have tendon surgery and you're temporarily disabled and your bills mount up and you fear to bring to your new marriage a mountain of debt so you take your little disability check to the casino and gamble it all away hoping to win enough to pay all your bills off and you stagger out of the casino at dawn on your wedding day having spent your last dime and having no money to pay for cab fare to the church and so have to accept a ride from your gambling companions who are glad to do it but then you have to explain why you arrived at your wedding in the limousine of a drug kingpen accompanied by his Mafia don best buddy and their six outrageously overdressed... ladies... of negotiable virtue... and there's all your family and your spouse's family and all the church people and the preacher and the photographer standing there staring at you with their mouths hanging open as if in a trance and the photographer finally snaps to attention and gets a really good shot of you as you emerge from the limo with the Don and the Kingpen helping you step out and an... escort's... gold feather boa wrapped around your neck and that's the only shot that comes out on your whole wedding day because at that point your underworld friends take offense and beat up the photographer and the preacher tries to intervene and a punch flies astray and accidentally hits him and so your minister stands there marrying you with a great big black eye and a missing tooth and you have to get married in a feather boa and not much else because your smoky whiskey gambling den clothing you wore all the night before was almost all ripped off of you in the free-for-all that developed on the churchhouse steps...
Now, see what evil can happen if you dwell with a little too much drooling on the joys of your approaching marriage bed?
Try to take a lighthanded approach. (Every possible pun intended.)
Read the Song of Solomon. Channel those thoughts into time-tested imagery and keep yer mind out of the gutter. And the casino.